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General Discussion And Chat - Talk about anything non nuke here, chew the fat, funny stories, jokes etc.
In the beggining.........
God covered the earth with cauliflower broccolli and spinach,with green red and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so that man and woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using Gods bountiful gifts Satan created dairy ice cream and magnums. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? "And man said "yes" and woman said " I'll have one too with chocolate chips" and lo they gained 10 lbs.
And God created healthy yogurt so that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And woman went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said "try my fresh green salad" and Satan presented blue cheese dressing with garlic croutons on the side.
And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said " i have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them". And Satan brought forth deep fried cocnut king prawns, butter dipped lobster chunks and deep fried chicken steaks, so big it needed it's own platter.
And mans cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth then potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassuim and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the helathy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
And man put in more pounds.And God brought forth the running shoes so that his children might lose the extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable t.v with remote control so that man would not have to toil changing the channels.And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.Then Satan said y"ou want fries with that?" And man replied"yes" "and super-size 'em "
And Satan siad " It is good".
And man and woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed.....and created quadruple by pass surgery.
And then Satan laughed and created the National Health Service.
THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION>
1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5.Germans drink beer and eat sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you !
